My story is about God’s grace of still believing even in the face of extreme earthly challenges and the unknown.
I was in a job that had been such a tremendous blessing for my kids and I but had since turned very toxic and it was no longer good for me. I was too terrified of the unknown and stayed with comfort of the known no matter how horrible it was. After 6.5 years of fully giving myself to this job I was let go with no notice or explanation. I was hurt, confused, shocked, sad, overwhelmed and terrified.
But God gave me the most beautiful gift in all of this. He allowed me to work through all the emotions of the event in my humanness yet still let me know it was all for His good — even in the worst of it I still believed.
I got made and vented, complained and bitched to anyone who would listen — but I still believed.
I cried my eyes out and had anxiety attacks but I still believed.
I had completely lazy, worthless days of self pity but I still believed.
I started to enjoy my time off and summer fun with the kids. Allowing my self to rest in the knowing He will work it all out.
I pulled up my big girl panties and put in the work of updating my portfolio, resume and cover letter. I applied to numerous jobs daily. I reached out to recruiters. Still only 2 interviews and not offers.
It’s ok. He’s writing the story. I don’t know the ending but I’m doing my best to enjoy the ride. He still lets me have my poor me moments but always, always reminds me His mercies are new each and every morning.
I am still in the weeds, in the mess, in the chaos of it all. I don’t know what the big glorious reward is at the end of the crazy twisty tunnel yet but I know enough to believe.